perfection seeking

Today was fun. Woke up 8ish and had neighbor bryan (neighboy) bug me all day. Morning was unexciting. Claire came over at about 3:30 when my dad got back from work. We went on youtube and watched old people fall over and babies laugh. We went on a walk with neighboy constantly stalking us. i am seriously annoyed with him. After walking we sat down on my lawn and talked. She got picked up and left eventually.

I think i am seeking perfection too much. I think emo ryan is gone at least for now but i am still sad about some things. I love claire so much and i just want everything to be perfect between me and her but i know that is impossible. There are too many small unknowns and worries and little problems that float around. I feel so many things and i just cant describe it all. i just wish we could both know everything the other thinks and feels and understand each other perfectly so we can just be together and not have to worry about anything. I know this is impossible as it is in the humans nature to worry but i feel insecure despite the fact i shouldnt at all. I worry about the tiniest things and am terrified i will lose her. i wish i had a way to test everything i want to say or do before i do it so i dont have to take any risks. i hate taking risks when i could lose all that i love.

anywayz following that little rant i shall follow up with another completely unrelated one! what fun!

tomorrow is january 20th and a big day for america. Obama will be sworn in as the 44th president of the united states. I think this is the most important inaugaration in the history of america since george washington. it marks a pivotal turning point on how race is viewed in america. I think this perfectly represents that in this country anything is possible as long as you have the drive and the desire to achieve it more than anyone else. I believe obama will bring great change to the nation and will start a new chapter in american leadership.

school tomorrow

out