I am going to stop blogging and putting moods on my social network accounts. I just cant communicate all thats happening right now in words. Too many problems for me and others and confusions and so much other crap. And so many of you are blissfully ignorant of the reality out there which will some day come and bite your ass. Too many of you just are coasting on your parents money and saying o yay getting good grades will make me happy and u spend too much time on homework. and you have no life. never faced a serious problem ever. Then there are people who are druggies and others who are so fucked up they cant tell life from a game and they take nothing seriously. Nerd and "cool". if you are either then you need to change. If your a nerd you need to expand your horizons and do something exciting with your life besides omg i just got my billionth A in my ap calculus class or some bull shit. If your cool get your heads out of the clouds take a look around you and look at the shit your life is in. Its a fine line and the only real way you should live in a modern day high school society. anything else and u wont be prepared for the world.
out
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Mask
Hello people. Ima stop blogging about my feelingz since it just brings other people down. And unless i put on a happy face to the world people will be depressed or not want to be around me. ima act happy all the time no matter whats going on on the inside. itz my new mask
So anywayz
2day was boringz. Hedstrom was terrible with her test almost noone finished and Cadd was bad cuz i got moved to the back and im not looking forward to antigone in english. Everythings moving slow and dull right now.
out
So anywayz
2day was boringz. Hedstrom was terrible with her test almost noone finished and Cadd was bad cuz i got moved to the back and im not looking forward to antigone in english. Everythings moving slow and dull right now.
out
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
What might have been...
Bleh... feeling emoish again...
Had a talk with my dad about claire. I didn't tell him anything at all. i just cant.
Seriously i wonder if cutting myself would at least distract my mind for a few minutes. i overthink too many things and it drives me crazy. I know i can never me completely content untill either everythings good or one things is perfect. i know that everything will never be good and i doubt anything will ever be perfect. if everything was good i could think about anything and id be happy even with slight imperfections cuz i know the big picture is good. if one thing was perfect i could focus and relish that and itd be my little escape from the rest of the world. Few things are actually important enough to fall under this category i can only think of 3 possibilities atm. Whenever I think about anything i overthink it like crazy and i consider everything like what i couldve done differently and if i couldve stopped something from happening or changed something or someone. Then I think what i can do to fix it but usually somethings stopping me. then i just keep thinking about what mightve been and i drive myself crazy over it. and i worry about what further things could happen. Then i lose track of what the hell i was thinking about leaving me a jumbled mess. its pathetic
What might have been...
Out
Had a talk with my dad about claire. I didn't tell him anything at all. i just cant.
Seriously i wonder if cutting myself would at least distract my mind for a few minutes. i overthink too many things and it drives me crazy. I know i can never me completely content untill either everythings good or one things is perfect. i know that everything will never be good and i doubt anything will ever be perfect. if everything was good i could think about anything and id be happy even with slight imperfections cuz i know the big picture is good. if one thing was perfect i could focus and relish that and itd be my little escape from the rest of the world. Few things are actually important enough to fall under this category i can only think of 3 possibilities atm. Whenever I think about anything i overthink it like crazy and i consider everything like what i couldve done differently and if i couldve stopped something from happening or changed something or someone. Then I think what i can do to fix it but usually somethings stopping me. then i just keep thinking about what mightve been and i drive myself crazy over it. and i worry about what further things could happen. Then i lose track of what the hell i was thinking about leaving me a jumbled mess. its pathetic
What might have been...
Out
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