Now i know

Sorry for the abrupt end to my last post. My brother thought for some reason it would be good if he dented the wall with my head and knocked me out.

Anyways...

Today was long. P.E was boring golf spanish was boring worksheet cadd was boring drawing bio was boring hedstrom and geometry was boring people. Only my english class was good. We got our finals back and i had one of the better finals scores and i found out i beat kevin. LIKE OMG I BEAT FREAKING KEVIN! hes the nerdy kid who studies all the time and gets As on everything. We also took this test to determine our best match for sadis hawkins dance and i just laughed. These tests are total bs XD. whatever results i get from that ill just say no thanks i already got the best match ever :). Break was nice as usual i always feel happiest when im around claire. Lunch was ok me and tyler and darren went to sign up for the golf team. This is the first year where they have to cut some people as there are limited spots on teams due to reeduced budgets. I think me and darren have a decent shot at making the team. Sadly i think tyler has no chance. based on the one time he played he did terrible.

Emo ryans corpse is trying to get up but i keep kicking it back down. it was back for a while after daniel beat me up yesterday but the prospect of the weekend with claire and other things ended up driving it away. still worry but i dont get emo bout it ^.^

The past few months have been amazing for me in the good times and the bad. Ive had times where i have felt insanely happy and insanely depressed. Before i met claire life was just sorta like a side show for me. Id just live it out for the simple pleasures like when i could play fun video games and go to fun places. I didnt really care about anything. It was all just there and i ignored it and was apathetical to almost everything. There were a few things that made me happy or sad but nothing that really made me bother to think twice. Now that i do seriously care about something i feel that i am living life the way it was meant to be lived. Among the happiness challenges have arisen and before that i hadnt had anything important happen to me that i had to try hard to fix. It was all just a cruise for me. The new challenges make me feel like im actually an adult and mature. That i actually have to worry about something and put an effort and emotion into making it all be better. Even my moment of insane depression made me feel alive. The only time i mightve ever felt anything near it is when my grandpa died. But that isnt really a challenge its just things that happen as time goes bye and nothing i can do about it. My moment of insane depression made me feel that i cared about something. That my life actually was worth a second glance. That finally something was this important to me. The happy blissful moments made me feel like i could do something important to me with my life. Something that wasnt just work work work or unimportant play. That something could just make me forget everything else and smile. I wouldnt trade all that has happened between me and claire, bad and good, for anything. Nothing has been more important to me in my life than this is now.

I used to wonder why society put so much attention and hype on love.

Now i know.

Out