Bleh... feeling emoish again...
Had a talk with my dad about claire. I didn't tell him anything at all. i just cant.
Seriously i wonder if cutting myself would at least distract my mind for a few minutes. i overthink too many things and it drives me crazy. I know i can never me completely content untill either everythings good or one things is perfect. i know that everything will never be good and i doubt anything will ever be perfect. if everything was good i could think about anything and id be happy even with slight imperfections cuz i know the big picture is good. if one thing was perfect i could focus and relish that and itd be my little escape from the rest of the world. Few things are actually important enough to fall under this category i can only think of 3 possibilities atm. Whenever I think about anything i overthink it like crazy and i consider everything like what i couldve done differently and if i couldve stopped something from happening or changed something or someone. Then I think what i can do to fix it but usually somethings stopping me. then i just keep thinking about what mightve been and i drive myself crazy over it. and i worry about what further things could happen. Then i lose track of what the hell i was thinking about leaving me a jumbled mess. its pathetic
What might have been...
Out
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1 comment:
not encouraging you to cut yourself, but slicing your flesh WILL probably distract you for more than a few minutes; maybe even a hour =p
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