Holiday gloom

Dear blog

So far this holiday season has not been good to me. Much time spent arguing with the family. lots of last minute present shopping going on. Tempers are high and christmas spirit is low. I prefer school because there i dont have to be cooped up with all this turmoil. Ive been depressed most of the time and usually having some conflict with someone in the family.

Today for example i woke up and fought with my mom for computer for a while. Then i went christmas shopping with my dad and i dont even know what book i got my mom cause my dad picked it out and i dont know what she likes. I almost got to do something with claire i was setting up. I was actually hopeful for a while that i could do something fun. I was running around and talking my parents into letting me go and then right when i managed to convince my dad and mom to let me go, it turns out that i cant and i was wasting all my time. I was totally depressed and frustrated. Instead i had to go to madagascar 2 with dougie and my family. It was a stupid movie with sad humor that was an attempt to make 6 year olds giggle. Dougie was whining and making noise the entire time and it drew lots of embarrassing stares. Then i came back for christmas eve dinner and noone else was hungry except me cuz they all ate too much popcorn and my dad didnt cook anything nice he just microwaved leftovers. on christmas eve dinner! that should be something at least somewhat special. And i happen to know what my brother got me. And suprise suprise its a bunch of books i dont want from HIS favorite author! i hate him getting me presents he just gets stuff for him.

Ive been more depressed lately for a few weeks now. I havnt been getting enough sleep, my family situation has gotten worse, my grades are slipping, and my friends seem more distant, and ive got nothing fun planned and wont see claire till the 28th. I struggle to remain optimistic, that there is still one major good thing in my life and i should be happy about it, but my troubles just overtake me.

out