Fail

Today was ok. school was bleh. claire came over after which was nice. im feeling depressed now though. ive been looking at myself lately and ive looked at myself from some prespectives of my life. heres what ive found.

Bad friend
Aggravating son
Annoying brother
Stupid boyfriend
Lazy student
Socially unaccepted
Poor worker

Even in the few areas i thought i was doing ok in ive been recently told that i suck. I feel like im failing in everything. It wouldnt suprise me if in the end i managed to drive the people i care about away and feel like i failed life. Then If I went to a tall building and killed myself, who would stop to give a damn? almost noone.

Bleh...

im just so tired of all the crap in my life. i just want everything to be simple.

I cant even sleep right anymore. fail at that too

youfail.org my new website

out

mind warz

sorry i havnt blogged in a whilez been busy and lazy and my minds been bugging the crap out of me. idk what to think anymore. bleh

Ok got back thursday from tahoe friday claire came over which was nice and we watched dark knight (again for both of us but still awshum movie!)

Saturday i went to claires where we went to cal skate with jessica and alvin and alda. alvin and alda didnt skate much and jessicas sisters were there. after skating we went back to claires house and hung out.

sunday i went to church then nickys then youth group. Darren and Calvin were also at nickys. it was ok but they ended up doing coop on this boring shooter game that i didnt want to play so nicky gave me the laptop so i could chat with claire.

monday school again. i felt blehish all day. Things bugging me. Tuesday and today went much the same way.

blehhh

my mind is out to drive me insane

outtie

i be back

I am back from tahoe. got back 2:30ish and unloaded car and stuff. Now instead of being bored like crazy in tahoe im bored like crazy in san jose. But claire will be here tomorrowz =D. cant wait!

Out

bored

so the first important thing of the day happened at 12:02 am when daniel punched me for setting his laptop down. aint that nice.



Anyways went to bed after that. woke up 9:40 ish and hung around house for a while went bowling at 2ish long wait where i killed daniel at arcade games then we bowled and i killed him at that too. and he got mad. went home and hung some more. nothing rly happened today. boring most of the time.

bleh

103.7 the river

Today was actually ok. Went skiing but it took us more than 2 hours to get there in a 30 min drive cuz it was rly snowy and the chains kept failing. When we got there i went on one run with my family including doug so boring beginner run then caught up with my 2nd cuzins and went with them on some freestyle runs. my goggles kept fogging up. i had a really good jump off a box that i went backwardz off of then turned around after it was awshum. I stopped skiing at 2:30. I went to the car and dan was alrdy there and i turned to a radio station called 103.7 the river. The first song i heard played i knew and i was singing to it cuz i was bored. Then i knew the next song. then the next. then the next. and im like OMG I KNOW ALL THE SONGS. this lasted until 4:15 so about 13 songs later and i knew all the words to all but one which i knew most of the words. it was freaky. that was like all the songs i know. idk how that happened O.O. anyways we drove back and i had a dream we crashed then freaked out saying omg we gonna crash. got back and now here i am.

i wanna go homez

sigh

out

burn tahoe

Yet another boring day here in tahoe. Today included fighting with brother over computer, getting lost trying to find the bowling alley, and me sleeping in until 11:00. My brother is insisting on having the laptop as absoulutely as much as he can. He keeps arguing with me. at least today mom went skiing. no extra yelling and tension. watched some tv and talked to claire some. turns out i had nothing to be worried about. Just my overactive imagination. It wasnt what i expected though.

i cant wait until i go back!

burn tahoe to the ground! too bad its all snowy right now.

out.

tahoey

Hello readers. Blogging from tahoe on my trip. Boring so far. showed up yesterday at 6vand immediately went to family for dinner. aunts uncles cousins etc there. Me my dad my brother my second cousin and my 2nd uncle (idk little crazy XD) played some games for a while then we left.

Woke up early 2day and went skiing. It was annoying mum was shouting and saying AHH WE BE LATE OMG! then it was WAY to cold and i didnt have enough clothes on and my hands actually went numb. i couldnt feel them after i fell in the snow. I went in and warmed them up at lunch. I just went to the car after lunch it was too cold and someone had to watch dougie while mom and dad went to ski with my aunt. terrible day overall. Managed to get internet connected though. dinner soon then im going to familys again. gonna play chess with my supposed genuis chessmaster cuzin or something. hell probably destroy me. he won 15 dollars in his last tournament. i expect to be crushed but w/e just for fun. might be on meebo after if i can.

all this time locked up with family is just creating tension. thankfully we can escape to crazy aunt and uncles who just laugh all the time. where i can escape for a few hours. i miss claire and friends. i even prefer schoool to this >.<. At least at home i can escape to my room or outside or something. or can be distracted by aim.

Whats the point of a vacation if its more stressful than life?

and boring too

out